Divorce is painful. It is most distressing if both parties cannot get along. When couples are still communicating, collaborative divorce is often superior to entering court.
Collaborative divorce has several advantages, including lower expenses and speeding up the process. Consider whether you and your soon-to-be-ex are appropriate candidates for avoiding a judge.
For a collaborative divorce to work, you must feel at ease when you are in direct contact. If domestic violence is part of your history, there may be anxiety from sitting in the same room. Another possibility is that the presence of your former partner triggers uncontrollable rage. The negotiation process needs to be devoid of emotion, with the higher goal of fairness in mind. Only consider a collaborative divorce if neither negative feeling is likely to surface.
Collaborative divorce works best when both spouses want the same things. Maybe you know which person should get particular possessions. Perhaps you have a child custody schedule in mind. Some couples can set aside their differences in favor of the greater good. When divorcing couples work together, a judge cannot impose mandates both sides dislike.
Neither partner is going to get everything. For your marriage to conclude, compromises must happen. Negotiations fall apart when one side is unwilling to budge. You and your ex must be able to put the larger goal of separating lives ahead of petty matters.
Getting a divorce is never a pretty situation, yet you can limit its messiness. If civility still reigns, pursuing a collaborative divorce might be a wise decision.